Irritating Phrases that Annoy the Hell out of Everyone

“Tax Self Assessment is like making love to a beautiful woman”

We are all guilty of using stock phrases, such as “thinking outside the box” and in fairness, the first few times you say these phrases you might well sound knowledgeable. However the road to pretentiousness is a short one.

Trendy terms and phrases can initially make you sound pretty smart, until one day the just stop having an impact. Once everyone starts to use them they turn into buzzwords, lose their initial meaning and impact and very quickly you just sound pretentious or even worse, people start laughing behind your back

Years ago, a former boss of mine was the king of the buzzword. He loved using terms like “cones of precision” (translation: accuracy) and “let’s drill down to bedrock” (translation: get to the essence of the problem).  Once a week on a Friday, he gathered us together for a meeting, and whenever he used a buzzword we’d jot it down and compare notes in the pub after work. It was our main form of amusement and the poor deluded manager, actually thought he was a great leader of men as he believed we were writing things down because we thought his stock phrases were pearls of wisdom.

Unfortunately, if we are honest with ourselves, we all have a little of him in us. We use the same words too often, or we use irritating speech patterns. Sometimes it’s simply a case that we fall in love with certain expressions. A year or two back, I came up with the expression “If you don’t ask the question, the answer’s bound to be no” to illustrate a point in decision making.  I realised recently that I was over-using it when a client actually finished my favourite saying for me.

So, you might be interested to see if you’re guilty of any of these:

1. The Double Name: Using a person’s name twice in the same sentence as a way to justify unusual or unacceptable behavior; such as, “What can I say?” Shrug. “That’s just Bill being Bill.” And even worse, “Hey, that’s just me being me”. Using the double name simply means you’re trying to excuse bad behaviour.
2. The Fake Agreement: Pretending to agree while expressing the opposite point of view. For example; “I’m with you on this one, but I just don’t think we should take on that customer.” In reality you aren’t really with me, so don’t try to couch a different opinion inside a warm and fuzzy fake agreement. If you disagree, just say so professionally.
3. The Unsupported Closure: Ending a discussion or making a decision without justification, as in a typical sales manager’s speech “At the end of the day, we’re here to make sales”.  Well there’s a surprise, a sales team that is supposed to make sales! Whenever you feel one coming on, take a deep breath and start over; otherwise you’ll spout inane platitudes instead of objective reasons that may actually help your employees get behind your decision.
4. The False Uncertainty: Feigning you’re not certain when in fact you really are; such as “You know, when I think about it, I’m not so sure shutting down that office isn’t the best option after all.” All you’re doing is pretending you still have an open mind; so don’t say it unless you are truly willing to consider other viewpoints.
5. The First Person Theoretical: Pretending to be another person, to make a critical point to someone and in effect blaming this hypothetical other person for any negative reaction to your criticism; such as “If I were a member of the public, I wouldn’t like your phone manner”. You may be able to get away with this one occasionally, but more than that is really irritating.
6. The Favorite Phrase:  Using a phrase so often that it loses all impact. I have a business friend who seems incapable of uttering a sentence, without shoehorning in one of his three favourite sayings, “in other words,” “as it relates to,” or “in general.”  Sometimes he even manages to get all three into the same sentence, more than once.  Infatuation with an expression will mean that not only do other people tire of it, they start to hear nothing else and whatever you hoped to get across gets lost in the miasma.

So here’s an idea for you, ask a colleague, a friend or a long-standing client if you’re guilty of any of the above, especially the overuse of a phrase or figure of speech. They’ll start off looking a bit uncomfortable and try to avoid answering, but persist and eventually they’ll tell you, and I guarantee you’ll never do it again.

David Jones is the Senior Partner and Founder of Morgan Jones & Company. Born in Liverpool and a graduate of Liverpool Collegiate Grammar School, David spent twenty years working for the Customs & Excise in London then Shrewsbury before starting his own business. David’s depth of knowledge of the UK tax system and his ability to communicate this learning has seen Morgan Jones & Company grow into Shropshire’s most respected Accountancy Practice. Email David